working hard

     School started again on Monday, and my midterms are next week (I have seven!). Naturally, I'm starting to realize that working hard isn't just working your tail off 24-7. There is a method to the madness. While I'm nowhere near good at working hard or working efficiently, I'm learning, and I thought I would share a few things that have helped me.

one) Pray. Jesus already knows what you need, so if you ask him for strength and diligence, he will for sure give it to you. (John 11:22) (James 1:5 - one of my all-time favorite Scriptures)

two) Prioritize. I know from experience that when you are juggling a lot of subjects (or projects at work, or whatever it is), it's hard to prioritize. Everything needs to be done! Right now! This mindset often leads me to stress and inefficiency. For example, maybe I have a lot of math to catch up on, but there is a Chemistry test due Monday. I'm really bad at Chemistry, so I should study. Meanwhile, I get further behind in math. The important thing is to take it one step at a time. It's not possible to multitask in this area. Don't try it - it only makes things worse. Figuring out what needs the most attention the fastest can help you get perspective. Once you are done that, you can move on.

three) Determine when you're not going to work. This is important because you can't work all the time. It's not healthy, nor does it produce the best results. There needs to be time for eating, sleeping, exercising, and spending brain-time on things that you enjoy. Quality of life MUST be maintained. I have decided that around approximately 8:30-9:00 at night, I will stop working or even thinking about school. My brain doesn't function properly when it knows I'm supposed to be relaxing. I usually read a good book after this point, so I can unwind and try to stop running on school adrenaline.

four) Find your motivation. I really hate it when I'm behind on a subject, or don't understand it and thus feel constantly confused and get poor grades. I've been in this situation enough so that this is my motivation to work hard. It won't get done if I don't do it. And the feeling of an A and understanding material is pretty darn awesome. :)

Hope this helps anyone who wants so badly to work hard but struggles with it, like me. Have a nice rest of the week, and to all of my classmates who read my blog: Happy Exams, and may the odds be ever in your favor!

s

seeking beauty

I know I've been posting a lot of New Years themed posts, but I'm inspired by the new beginning I have and I'm excited about the changes I'm planning to make not only in my lifestyle, but in my head and my heart. 

---

I figured out what I want. I want beauty.

What a shallow definition of this word I have held recently! How unwilling I have been to truly seek it!

But I'm ready to seek it now. I want it. I ache for a truly beautiful life. A truly happy life. I look to God and see it in him; I look at his creation, and I look at work. Hard work. Oh, how beautiful work is! I think coming out of Christmas break has taught me that. I'm ready to not slack off or give less than my best.

My theme for this year is to seek beauty. It dawned on me suddenly, as I was sitting in Latin class copying down translations. It didn't announce itself with drums and trumpets. It was like waking up in the morning, sitting up in bed, and not feeling the least bit tired. Just refreshed with this new and glorious ambition to find beauty wherever I can.

Here's to a beautiful two thousand and fourteen.

s

on chemistry and how I learned (ahem: AM LEARNING) to enjoy life.

     Because we live in a fallen, broken, corrupt world, we get our fair share of confusion and panic and misery. That's how it is.
     If you know me, you know I absolutely CAN NOT STAND confusion. Being confused about something (especially school and homework deadlines) drives me up the wall. So when I wasn't spending the time I should have on Chemistry and consequently becoming confused, I slowly sank into misery. And then I failed a test and wasn't able to take another one because of internet problems.
     I'm going to be completely honest with you: I'm failing Chemistry. That scares me. I was behind on homework, and one day I was sitting in a class that wasn't even Chemistry (online, in my room), and I just had a panic attack about my Chemistry homework.

It's too much. Way. Too. Much. I'll never get it done and I'll never get my grade up and I'll never understand the material and AHHHH!!!!

     I put up my little "away" emoticon to let my teacher know that I had stepped away and ran downstairs to my mom, where I yelled and cried and panicked about Chemistry. She helped me calm down and told me not to think about it while I was in another class. One thing at a time, Sarah! 
     Soon after that episode, my mom told me that I was going to drop my Chemistry class and take it as an "independent study course" instead. Basically that means I would listen to recordings of the live class had taken before and do the work at my own pace.
     I was ambivalent about this decision. I knew it would be better for me, and I was excited about that part. But at the same time...

Wow, Sarah, you can't handle the fast pace of a normal, high school Chemistry course? What kind of student are you, anyway? Look at all your friends. Look how great they're doing in school. What's wrong with you?

     Then my Chemistry teacher called my home phone. You know it's not good when you're getting calls from the teacher, right? Yeeeah. Apparently, she had no idea I was planning to move to independent study (glitch in communication, I guess). She wished I would stay in her class because she liked my participation (however much I was able to give with my confused knowledge of the subject in question), but understood how much work I had (six other classes) and how independent study would be helpful (I used so many parentheses in this paragraph).
     I had talked to my parents beforehand and told them I would really like to catch up and boost my grade and stay in class. I told my teacher that on the phone, and she said I could do it if I put in the time and concentration. So, we talked about ways I could catch up. And I'm back in the game, folks!

     It's been so crazy this past week with all of this happening. I'm learning time management even when I thought I had it down, or I thought I should have it down, and I'm learning that I don't have to live a stressful, panicky, school-filled life. I'm trying Chemistry again, and I'm determined that it will not go down like the first two months of it did.

     Speaking of not living a stress and school-filled life, I'm going to a football game tonight with my youth group. Please take opportunities to do fun things in your life, especially if you are bogged down with school or work. God wants to enjoy life and enjoy him, and I'm not going to let school get in the way of that.

     Moral of the story: Hakuna Matata. God has it all worked out. :)

s

just a prayer request because that's all I can write as of now.

Hi, guys.

     I haven't written in a week because this week, I've felt so much and nothing at all at the same time. I had a bit of writer's block; it wasn't that I didn't know what to say, but I was at a loss for how to say it. So today, I just have a prayer request.

     I went to the beach for a weekend, at which time I thought I would have wi-fi but did not. I had a few things to turn in/prepare and, since I attend school online, that's a problem. A big problem. I think God was telling me to just "be still and know that he is God," and to take a break. Which was good. But now I'm back and gosh darn it, I have so much work! I don't even know where to start. Could y'all pray that I would be able to prioritize, get it all done, and have peace about all of it?

     Thanks a million.

Please tell me what you need prayer for in the comment section if you wish to publish your request in that manner... :)

<3

s

overwhelmed

     Do you ever feel like you want to just pause time? Just pause - get tons of work done, sleep, eat, etc. - then press play and "start life" again where you left off, except way ahead of everyone and completely stress-free?
   
 Maybe that's just me.

     I just feel like I have so much responsibility. SO MUCH. And I struggle with feeling like I'm never good enough... that I'm not doing enough... that I'm not mature or reliable enough...

I'm struggling.

     I'm taking my third year of Latin in school this year, and I absolutely love Latin normally. But it's really hard this year. And I'm discouraged. And nervous. Add six other classes on top of that and it's completely overwhelming.

     I know that I'm supposed to lean on God for all of my strength, but I'm having trouble trusting that he has enough of it. I know he does, but... gosh, it's just everything on my plate at once. I want to prove to myself that I am good enough, not really to God - I know what he thinks of me already - but to people around me. It's probably more important to me than it should be. I don't want to live with this binding me. I've realized that I'm not free from it, but it's strange because I don't necessarily want to be free from it. If I just gave up the fight and let God work through me, I wouldn't be proving anything to myself. Not that I need to prove anything to myself; I just want to.

     It's all so confused and messed up. I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense. I just needed to get that out there. Please, try to understand where I'm coming from. I'm in a difficult place. It's okay to be in a difficult place - I know you all are probably in one, too. So maybe you could... pray for me. And if you ask for prayer in the comment section I will pray for you too.

- Sarah

where I am right now

Do you ever feel unsatisfied with yourself?
     I don't necessarily mean the pretty much ever-present feeling that you'd like a different nose, or you want to get more sleep at night, or whatever. I mean an overwhelming desire to change multiple aspects of your life.
     Sometimes I stop and think about everything I'm doing wrong - I'm not going to bed early enough, I'm not doing my homework on time (or I'm cramming and not doing my best), I'm not getting up early enough in the morning, I don't have all the clothes I want, my income is scanty ($64 a month dissolves so easily and quickly, somehow). I don't think of others enough. I complain a lot. I don't have as much energy as I want to have. I don't exercise enough. I'm not completely satisfied with my appearance. The list goes on. And sometimes I just wish I could press a button or wave a magic wand and tada! my life is perfect.
     That's definitely not how it works, though. And it's SO HARD. Because most of those things are good things! Things I should want! I'll be honest, it's discouraging to realize that I can't just decide I'm going to wake up earlier and then DO IT. It takes prayer and faith and hard work and perseverance.
     Another reason that it's hard is because it's part of the process of sanctification. And sanctification is one of the hardest things in the world to go through. It takes immense trust (yet another thing I don't have), and I just want God to hand me some kind of certificate or something that says "Congratulations! You have achieved the highest standard of _________!"

Examining this post now, I realize that I'm not doing too well with patience. :/

But it's okay, because of who I am in Christ - I am saved, I'm a saint, I'm God's daughter, I'm beloved, and I'm guaranteed eternal life and happiness.

One minute I'm despairing about how much I need to change and how unsatisfied I am with myself, and the next breath I'm motivated and pleased with where I am. Funny how my emotions fluctuate like that. Thank goodness there's a never-changing God who unconditionally loves me for who I am.

Happy Wednesday :)
Sarah 

wednesday verse

Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.

Proverbs 16:3

the story of my typical school day

(Excerpt taken from the best book ever: Anne of Green Gables)

Miss Stacy caught me reading "Ben Hur" in school yesterday afternoon when I should have been studying my Canadian history. Jane Andrews lent it to me. I was reading it at dinner hour, and I had just got to the chariot-race when school went in. I was simply wild to know how it turned out––although I felt sure "Ben Hur" must win, because it wouldn't be poetical justice if he didn't––so I spread my history open on my desk-lid and then tucked "Ben Hur" between the desk and my knee. It just looked as if I were studying Canadian history, you know, while all the while I was reveling in "Ben Hur." I was so interested in it. . . 

     Okay, so I don't put my school book in front of my pleasure book and read in secret. But often, I'm tempted to "see how the chariot race turned out," and thus use my school hours in pleasure activities. God is giving me more self control, and I feel confident that he will help me as I enter the school year. I am excited to rise to the challenge of having enough self control to prevent me from pulling homework all-nighters (something I can certainly do without). Diligence also comes into play here; if I want to do something for fun, I know I have to work hard and get my school done first.
     For those of you who are still in school, I hope you have a blessed school year with a minimum amount of late night cramming and that you learn a lot. :)

-Sarah :)

P.S. Can I just say that Anne is extremely entertaining? Even if you don't take any of the self control lesson away from this excerpt, I hope you appreciate her mention of poetical justice and the seemingly necessary mention of who lent her the book. :)

Help!

     This isn't a post that is begging my readers to assist me in some way. Nor am I in dire need of medical aid. :)

     Sometimes, though, I do feel like screaming "help!" Or feeling like I need to stop time in order to finish everything that I need to get done. As a freshman in high school, I am experiencing one of the most strenuous years of school in my whole education thus far. I'm taking outside classes for all of my subjects, out of which come copious amounts of homework. Add onto that daily violin and piano practice, and it makes for one VERY busy girl. I'm sure most of you have experienced a similar kind of overwhelming amount of work at one time or another. I just get so caught up in finishing everything on time that I forget that I can't do it. Because I can't - I'm not physically able to do everything by myself. The good news is, I don't have to do it by myself! God knows that we are too weak to do what he has called us to do by ourselves, and he loves to help us. Please read these next few verses about God giving us strength. These encourage me so much when I'm struggling with getting it all done.

For this I toil, struggling with all his energy that he powerfully works within me.

Colossians 1:29

 I can do all things through [Christ] who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:13

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

Psalm 46:1

     God is always there to give us the strength to do what he's called us to do. Remembering that and hiding these verses in our hearts can not only help us to get it all done, but to do everything we do for God's glory! 

-Sarah :)

     

trust God and choose righteousness

     Last night, I was up till 11:30 studying biology (for an 8:00 a.m. class the next morning). It was really strenuous; I was so tired, and all of a sudden I got so overwhelmed with the many pages and many, many terms that needed to be studied and memorized. I cried out to God for help, and then, believing he would help me, I put my head back down and studied some more.
     But why did I have to, as they say, "cram"? Why had I waited until the night before to suddenly pack all of that knowledge into my brain? I had procrastinated, and now I had to endure the consequences. I always knew I spent too much time on the computer, and easily got distracted with something my sisters were doing, but I hadn't really known how to fix this.
     My sister, who is a seasoned Christian with a vast store of wisdom, offered me some advice in this situation as we were studying together last night. She said that when we know we are doing something wrong (in this case, procrastinating), we should try to fix it in the future by trusting God to help us do that. But she also said that we can't just trust God, we also have to be diligent in our work and choose righteousness. We have to sow the the Holy Spirit, and obey God as we trust him.
     This morning when I woke up, I prayed that God would help me to trust him and to choose righteousness today. By his grace, today I feel like I have been really productive in my school. Looking back on the day, I remember certain times when I consciously chose righteousness. It's amazing to see what God can do with our lives! I am so thankful that he answered my prayer, and look forward to many more productive, work-filled days working for his glory.

     In what ways has God helped you when you struggle in a certain area? Please comment and let me know, I'd love to hear your stories!

-Sarah :)

GO TO THE ANT

Go to the ant, O sluggard;

consider her ways, and be wise.

Without having any chief,

officer, or ruler,

she prepares her bread in summer

and gathers her food in harvest.

- Proverbs 6:6-8