right around the corner

     I just wrote a post about coming out of my "fiery trial" and being on a bit of a high place. I said that I miss being forced to rely on God so completely, like I did when I was in the valley.
     And then I heard "Closer to Love" by Mat Kearney.
I had heard the song before and loved it, but I heard it again recently and one line really, really stuck out to me.

// I guess we're all one phone call from our knees //

     I realized something when I heard that. I realized that I don't know when God is going to throw something else at me for me to go through. He's certainly not done refining and shaping and sanctifying me, and I know I'm going to have to get through something else in my life that he'll use to do that. It could be right around the corner - one phone call away - so I have to be ready. 

fiery trial musings and four things to remember

     Remember that series on my fiery trial I did last year, about leaving my old church? I just read back and read it, and... wow. It all came back in one big, tear-filled rush. I still cry when I hear this song. I remembered it all - the specific emotions I felt on a day-to-day basis, the tears, the heartache. And the constant struggle of trying to believe that God is good.
     Well, it's been a year since God and I embarked on my first life-trial. And things have been going good. I feel the impact of the trial now and again, but I've reached the end, and now I just want to be ready when something else like it falls in my path. Because it will.
     But you know what's strange? Reading what I wrote last year, when I was in the midst of that fiery trial, I realized that I miss it. I miss being forced to rely on God at all times. I miss the sobs of relief when I would read Isaiah 43. I miss the vulnerability - the constant need to jump into God's lap to just sit and wait it out.
     I can't believe it, but I'm out of that hard time, and I'm pretty sure it's for good. I'll probably feel the impact of it for the rest of my life, but the sharpness of the pain is gone. It's all gone. All I know is that I love my new church (not so new now - I've been attending for a year...!!!), and I love the people in it. I'm dreaming big and anticipating what's ahead in my life. And I can't believe that I really am at the end of that tunnel.
     And I can't believe that I want another trial.
Okay, so I don't really want another one. But I miss that feeling of God being always present in my weakness. I find myself slipping back into old habits of self-sufficiency (two words: summer school).
     So, if you're reading this today and you're going through a fiery trial of your own, please read on, carefully.

1. IT'S GOING TO BE OVER SOMETIME.

2. GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. HE'S HOLDING YOU TIGHT AND HE WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER LET YOU GO.

3. GOD LOVES YOU A WHOLE LOT. 

4. IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY.

<3
Sarah

changing churches

     I went to one church for ten years. There were so many people I knew there. I was so used to the building and the events and the atmosphere of it all. My family has now been directed by God to find another church home, and let me just say that it is so HARD. Remember my "fiery trial" blog series? There are things about that church that I just love, and having attended it for so long, it has been quite a trial to stop going there and look for another church. 

     I'm not going to expound on the emotions I have experienced because I did that in my fiery trial series (if you didn't read that and you want to, they all have the label "fiery trial," so the posts are easy to find), but basically I just doubted God a great deal and wondered why and how this could turn out for my good. 

     My family has been attending a church we first visited in the summer, and we all love it. I hope that soon we will be able to call it our church home, but for now I'm just enjoying getting to know all of the wonderful people there and becoming more familiar with the church (not to mention going to the amazing youth group!). 

     I still struggle sometimes with this change; it's easy to think about what I don't have in this new church and what I did have at the old one. But being sad is alright. This is a hugely different experience, and it's taking some time to adjust. I'm just praying that God will give me complete joy and contentment in whatever church he places me. 

     I planned for this to be longer, but I think God really worked in my heart during the long time that I was putting off writing this post. Like I said before, the "fiery trial" series really speaks for the me that I was months ago, so that would put this post in perspective. 

Have you faced any big changes that God has helped you through?

-Sarah :)

fiery trial part 6 (blessings)

     We pray for blessings, we pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for your mighty hand to ease our suffering

     

     As I continue further along the path of suffering, it's easy for me to focus my attention on how I am being disappointed again and again. It's easy to give up trying to be strong – trying to make it through. 

     Far too easy. And far too tempting.

I want what I want, and I want God to give it to me! Why should I try to conform my will to his, when I'm sure he can't know best?

All the while You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

The thing is, he does know best. I have to believe that. I am starting to, but it's hard. I would even be tempted to say it's too hard.

     But even as I'm writing this, I'm realizing that I have been depending too much on my own strength to make it through this trial. What makes me think I can carry myself through something I didn't even bring about? Am I that full of myself, that I would assign that much power to myself? It's a problem all Christians face at one time or another. We try to handle things by ourselves. But we can't handle things by ourselves. 

     It's not my place to take over; to be sovereign. It is my place, however, to fill myself with Jesus, who is sovereign, and with the power that he gives me to walk through my suffering. Exodus 14:14 says, "The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” I will not stop putting my hope and trust in Jesus. I know he will fight for me. 

     I know that what I am experiencing will result in his blessings. He will give me something much greater than anything I could ever imagine. I must believe that. I must keep my eyes on Jesus. 

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You're near

And what if trials of this life

Are Your mercies in disguise?

     I look forward to the wonderful things God has in store for me. I pray that he will give me the strength and wisdom to keep walking in the path he has set for me, without looking back. It is exhausting to think about the whys of the doings of God; he is incomprehensible, and as such, I will not try to understand his reasons for directing my life the way he does. 

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear

We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

     It's all that I can do to keep these beliefs from dashing to pieces. I have to fight to keep my eyes on Jesus. But I'm fighting with his power, not my own. Romans 8:31 says, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" I sing songs about God's love for me and his sovereignty, sometimes just to remind my doubting heart that it's true. 

     It is true, even if that seems hopelessly preposterous. It's not. There is a purpose, and God is working all things out for my good because I love him. 

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst

This world can't satisfy?

     And so, I lean on Jesus, knowing that he loves me and that he wants and intends to bless me. "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” - Lamentations 3:22-24. 

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

 Are Your mercies in disguise?

Blessings - Laura Story

-Sarah :)

fiery trial - part 5 (more on revelation)

     I posted awhile ago that I had had a revelation about God's plan, but I wanted to expound more on it in this post.
   
     Last Wednesday I posted Hebrews 2:8. It's my new favorite verse. It speaks perfectly to me in the season of my life. Here it is again:

Now in putting everything in subjection to him, he left nothing outside his control. At present, we do not yet see everything in subjection to him.

     I have heard multiple times from various sources that we can not see all of God's plan, and that he has a bigger purpose than what I can determine. Hearing that comforted me - for a while. But it just didn't stick. This morning as I was reading Hebrews in my quiet time, I came upon this verse. I had heard this truth from other people, but never directly from my God! Hearing it from Jesus himself really instilled it into me.
     Something else that is really connecting with me is the fact that Jesus understands. He experienced trial and suffering when he was on the earth, not just on the cross, but throughout the whole 33 year period he was here as a man. He's not inflicting this on me because he thinks I'm due for something hard in my life. Jesus knows that this very thing will break me and then shape me into a person who is more like him. He can sympathize with me. Sympathy is such a beautiful word: "sym" comes from the Greek for "same," and the rest comes from "pathos," which is Greek for "feeling." Jesus had the same feelings as I am experiencing right now. He knows! This is vastly comforting to me.
   
     Do you have a Scripture verse or passage that speaks to you in a similar way that this one does to me? Have you ever had a revelation from God about something that caused you to see God's plan more clearly?

-Sarah :)

 
     

fiery trial - part 4 (revelation)

Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good,

     for his steadfast love endures forever.

Give thanks to the God of gods,

    for his steadfast love endures forever.

Give thanks to the Lord of lords,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

to him who alone does great wonders,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

to him who by understanding made the heavens,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

to him who spread out the earth above the waters,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

to him who made the great lights,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

the sun to rule over the day,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

the moon and stars to rule over the night,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

to him who struck down the firstborn of Egypt,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

and brought Israel out from among them,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

with a strong hand and an outstretched arm,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

to him who divided the Red Sea in two,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

and made Israel pass through the midst of it,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

but overthrew Pharaoh and his host in the Red Sea,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

to him who led his people through the wilderness,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

to him who struck down great kings,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

and killed mighty kings,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

Sihon, king of the Amorites,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

and Og, king of Bashan,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

and gave their land as a heritage,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

a heritage to Israel his servant,

    for his steadfast love endures forever.

It is he who remembered us in our low estate,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

and rescued us from our foes,

    for his steadfast love endures forever;

he who gives food to all flesh,

    for his steadfast love endures forever.

Give thanks to the God of heaven,

    for his steadfast love endures forever.

I have had a revelation.

God's plan is good!

     I'm finally realizing this. Before, I tried to say it over and over in an attempt to convince myself that it's true, but God is being so kind and helping me to believe it. 

     I'm not all the way there - it still hurts to think that I'm not going to get my own way. Things that remind me of it pop up everywhere. But God's giving me grace! He DOES love me! And that is why I am giving thanks to the LORD - because his love endures forever!!! 

-Sarah :)

     

fiery trial - part 3 (if You want me to)

     Here's a video of one of my current favorite worship songs - If You Want Me To, by Ginny Owens. Please listen and be encouraged! I always am when I listen to it. This video has the lyrics in it so that you can follow along if you'd like. Also, at the end of the video, there's a section of Isaiah 43 that is one of my favorite "trial" passages.

-Sarah :)

fiery trial - part 2

     I think I am going to make posting about my "fiery trial" a somewhat regular thing, since it is so prominent in my life. I hope you all will be able to benefit from what God is showing me through this.

     This will be a rather short post - I just wanted to share a few lyrics to a song that has encouraged me through this lately.

I am here

I'm holding you

you'll make it through this

I am here

I am here

It's really quite simple, but it helps to know that God is always with me, and that I will make it through this.

If you ever think of it, I would appreciate your prayers as I continue to struggle through my trial. And please comment or email me if there's any way I can pray for you, or if you want to share something that has helped you through a hard time (be it a song, a Bible verse, a quote, etc.). 

God bless you!

-Sarah :)