on chemistry and how I learned (ahem: AM LEARNING) to enjoy life.

     Because we live in a fallen, broken, corrupt world, we get our fair share of confusion and panic and misery. That's how it is.
     If you know me, you know I absolutely CAN NOT STAND confusion. Being confused about something (especially school and homework deadlines) drives me up the wall. So when I wasn't spending the time I should have on Chemistry and consequently becoming confused, I slowly sank into misery. And then I failed a test and wasn't able to take another one because of internet problems.
     I'm going to be completely honest with you: I'm failing Chemistry. That scares me. I was behind on homework, and one day I was sitting in a class that wasn't even Chemistry (online, in my room), and I just had a panic attack about my Chemistry homework.

It's too much. Way. Too. Much. I'll never get it done and I'll never get my grade up and I'll never understand the material and AHHHH!!!!

     I put up my little "away" emoticon to let my teacher know that I had stepped away and ran downstairs to my mom, where I yelled and cried and panicked about Chemistry. She helped me calm down and told me not to think about it while I was in another class. One thing at a time, Sarah! 
     Soon after that episode, my mom told me that I was going to drop my Chemistry class and take it as an "independent study course" instead. Basically that means I would listen to recordings of the live class had taken before and do the work at my own pace.
     I was ambivalent about this decision. I knew it would be better for me, and I was excited about that part. But at the same time...

Wow, Sarah, you can't handle the fast pace of a normal, high school Chemistry course? What kind of student are you, anyway? Look at all your friends. Look how great they're doing in school. What's wrong with you?

     Then my Chemistry teacher called my home phone. You know it's not good when you're getting calls from the teacher, right? Yeeeah. Apparently, she had no idea I was planning to move to independent study (glitch in communication, I guess). She wished I would stay in her class because she liked my participation (however much I was able to give with my confused knowledge of the subject in question), but understood how much work I had (six other classes) and how independent study would be helpful (I used so many parentheses in this paragraph).
     I had talked to my parents beforehand and told them I would really like to catch up and boost my grade and stay in class. I told my teacher that on the phone, and she said I could do it if I put in the time and concentration. So, we talked about ways I could catch up. And I'm back in the game, folks!

     It's been so crazy this past week with all of this happening. I'm learning time management even when I thought I had it down, or I thought I should have it down, and I'm learning that I don't have to live a stressful, panicky, school-filled life. I'm trying Chemistry again, and I'm determined that it will not go down like the first two months of it did.

     Speaking of not living a stress and school-filled life, I'm going to a football game tonight with my youth group. Please take opportunities to do fun things in your life, especially if you are bogged down with school or work. God wants to enjoy life and enjoy him, and I'm not going to let school get in the way of that.

     Moral of the story: Hakuna Matata. God has it all worked out. :)

s

do not worry about tomorrow

 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:34

     Lately I have been looking at colleges and considering possible majors, looking at scholarships, et cetera (and yes, it's true I'm only a sophomore in high school). I often worry about my grades far too much (what if my GPA isn't high enough to get into a good college?), and about how well I'll do in PSATs and SATs and all that. 

     I have to constantly remind myself of the verse above. The truth is that God already knows what my GPA will be. He already knows whether I will go to college or not, and if so he knows what college I'm going to end up in. He knows what I'll major in, and how I will use (or maybe not use) that to get a job after college. I have all my current plans and hopes for the future laid out, but he knows which ones will be realized and which ones aren't in HIS plan. 

The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.

Proverbs 16:9

     So why worry? "Each day has enough trouble of it's own." Honestly, I don't really have the time or energy to worry about what's going to happen in three years. I'm too busy with the next three hours. So, I'll do my best at what's in front of me right now, and wait and see what God has for me later. 

-Sarah :)

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare[a] and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Jeremiah 29:11