death is death.

"It kills me sometimes, how people die." 

- Markus Zusak

There is no feeling quite as surreal and sobering as realizing that while you are immersed in happy routine, someone else has descended into the very lowest part of the valley; realizing that your five minutes of monotone is someone else's test.

There is also no feeling quite waiting for news. Waiting for your fears to be confirmed or denied. Waiting to find out if someone has run the last steps of their race and has made it to the finish line. Sometimes it hits suddenly and the only thing your heart feels for awhile after is the impact of the blow, like if a soccer ball hits you in the face and after it's gone you still feel like it's there.

I have never been in the position of having someone die who was very close to me. I have, however, experienced how death in one's broad, general circle of friends can ripple through and take a piece of everyone's heart. It's one of those things that doesn't depend on many factors. Death is death. That's all.

So when death springs up from it's lair to deliver a blow, it brings with it deep-seated fears and anxieties. Sometimes it brings unbridled terror. It comes like a phantom in the night; like a draft of cold air that makes you shiver despite your heavy clothing. And it never, ever leaves you untouched. It doesn't matter what the situation. Death is death.

And God is Life.

Death was defeated when Jesus resurrected, and it will be defeated for eternity when Jesus returns to take his own to eternal felicity. Happy, happy thought.

I don't know what I'd do without hope, because death is awful.

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

- Revelation 21:4

 

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how to cultivate hope

     My mom sent me the link to this article, and I just had to share it with you all. I have seen, by the grace of God, some of this taking place in my life, and while I'm definitely not all the way there yet, I can say from experience that this works, and it's so rewarding. Enjoy. :)

http://www.johnmaxwell.com/blog/how-to-cultivate-hope

christmas + hope + tears + joy + eternity

     I have been thinking about heaven a lot lately; how in comparison this world is dark, and foggy, and temporary. So very temporary. I've been thinking about how all the Christians will be living together, forever, in heaven. 

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Revelation 21:4

That verse from Revelation literally brings me to tears of joy. In heaven, death and mourning and crying won't exist. I can't count all the times I have cried on this earth because of a painful experience I went through. Thinking about how, in heaven, I won't have a reason to do that anymore, is beautiful. I can't even say how beautiful that is. NO PAIN ANYMORE. In heaven, we'll experience joy after joy and we will walk day by day by day forever in this perfect, untainted, eternal joy with the light of our beloved Jesus as the sun. 

     I can't wait to see my Jesus. 

I can just imagine running into his arms, and finally seeing him who helped me through the trials of life on the earth. Oh, to actually SEE with my eyes my wonderful Savior! To have walked by faith and not by sight for so long, being "strong in the Lord and in his mighty power," and then to have sin banished from me and all pain and suffering gone. Forever. I'm crying as I write this. :)

     It's amazing to me that Jesus left all that splendor and joy and perfect peace and happiness in heaven to appear in this dark, gloomy, foggy, sin-saturated world. And all for love. He experienced a painful death completely opposite to everything in heaven, and thus opened the door for us to have hope of being free from ultimate death. It's amazing. It's amazing that Jesus would love us so much. 

     I think this is really what Christmas is all about. The hope of being with the Savior for eternity. Jesus came, he ministered, he died, he rose, he ascended, and he will return. Whether we reach our true home through the death of our bodies, or if we live until he comes again into this dark world, we, as Christians, will finally live the life of Eden; the life Adam and Eve lived before they fell. We will finally be relieved from the suffering and pain and grief of this fleeting life. Finally. Then we will see our God. Oh, beautiful, beautiful thought. 

     I think about all of the pain I have gone through and am experiencing now, and think about how I cry out to Jesus to help me. I think about how he does help me, though it may not be the way I expect or want. Then I think about how when I leave this sinful world behind, I will SEE that very same Jesus who was listening to my pleas for help, and I will rest in his arms and be free of all pain forever.

     I repeated myself quite a bit, I know. I just can't get past the wonder and the beauty of it all. 

For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.

Luke 2

He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus!

Revelation 22:20

On that note, Merry Christmas!

-Sarah :)

wednesday verse

Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Romans 5:3-5

ready for the impact zone

     In this post I included a quote from "Soul Surfer." One of the key phrases in the quote was "the next wave." This metaphor applies to my life strangely well; I was in the "impact zone," then I got out and went over "the next wave," and now I'm in the impact zone again (just to let you know, the only way I know any surfing terms is because of Soul Surfer. I'm not some pro surfer blogger over here. :D). But this time, I'm ready. I'm equipped for this next plunge underwater.
     It's really funny how I have always heard things but never seen them in my life! Like what's happening now. I knew that people learn things from trials, and here I am, wiser and more hopeful in this trial than I was in the last one. I don't know whether this one seems easier because it really isn't as intense or shocking, or if the intenseness and shock are dulled by the hope I learned to have from the last trial (if that makes sense).
     The main thing I learned is that there is always an end to a trial. I face this trial now, assured that sometime the sun will come out and Jesus will have helped me triumph over another hard time. Another quote from "Soul Surfer" comes to mind:

"I don't know why terrible things happen to us sometimes. But I have to believe something good is going to come out of it. I don't know what that is."

I don't know what that is. I don't. But God does. I will benefit greatly from this.
     So now I will look ahead to the light at the end of the tunnel, knowing that there IS indeed a light.

-Sarah :)

fiery trial part 6 (blessings)

     We pray for blessings, we pray for peace

Comfort for family, protection while we sleep

We pray for healing, for prosperity

We pray for your mighty hand to ease our suffering

     

     As I continue further along the path of suffering, it's easy for me to focus my attention on how I am being disappointed again and again. It's easy to give up trying to be strong – trying to make it through. 

     Far too easy. And far too tempting.

I want what I want, and I want God to give it to me! Why should I try to conform my will to his, when I'm sure he can't know best?

All the while You hear each spoken need

Yet love us way too much to give us lesser things

The thing is, he does know best. I have to believe that. I am starting to, but it's hard. I would even be tempted to say it's too hard.

     But even as I'm writing this, I'm realizing that I have been depending too much on my own strength to make it through this trial. What makes me think I can carry myself through something I didn't even bring about? Am I that full of myself, that I would assign that much power to myself? It's a problem all Christians face at one time or another. We try to handle things by ourselves. But we can't handle things by ourselves. 

     It's not my place to take over; to be sovereign. It is my place, however, to fill myself with Jesus, who is sovereign, and with the power that he gives me to walk through my suffering. Exodus 14:14 says, "The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.” I will not stop putting my hope and trust in Jesus. I know he will fight for me. 

     I know that what I am experiencing will result in his blessings. He will give me something much greater than anything I could ever imagine. I must believe that. I must keep my eyes on Jesus. 

'Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears?

What if a thousand sleepless nights

Are what it takes to know You're near

And what if trials of this life

Are Your mercies in disguise?

     I look forward to the wonderful things God has in store for me. I pray that he will give me the strength and wisdom to keep walking in the path he has set for me, without looking back. It is exhausting to think about the whys of the doings of God; he is incomprehensible, and as such, I will not try to understand his reasons for directing my life the way he does. 

We pray for wisdom, Your voice to hear

We cry in anger when we cannot feel You near

We doubt Your goodness, we doubt Your love

As if every promise from Your Word is not enough

And all the while You hear each desperate plea

And long that we'd have faith to believe

     It's all that I can do to keep these beliefs from dashing to pieces. I have to fight to keep my eyes on Jesus. But I'm fighting with his power, not my own. Romans 8:31 says, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" I sing songs about God's love for me and his sovereignty, sometimes just to remind my doubting heart that it's true. 

     It is true, even if that seems hopelessly preposterous. It's not. There is a purpose, and God is working all things out for my good because I love him. 

What if my greatest disappointments

Or the aching of this life

Is the revealing of a greater thirst

This world can't satisfy?

     And so, I lean on Jesus, knowing that he loves me and that he wants and intends to bless me. "The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. “The Lord is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in him.” - Lamentations 3:22-24. 

And what if trials of this life

The rain, the storms, the hardest nights

 Are Your mercies in disguise?

Blessings - Laura Story

-Sarah :)

the fiery trial

     I'm here to post about my fiery trial.

Nota bene: In this post, I will not be pouring out my woes or using my blog as a medium to complain to all of my readers. I am simply using this example in my own life as a testimony to what our Father can do with the trials he allows to enter our lives.

Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. . . Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name. . . Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will entrust their souls to a faithful Creator while doing good.

1 Peter 4:12-13, 16, 19

 
     I have been struggling recently with a certain trial that has come into my life. As far as I can see right now, I will not be able to do something that I want to do more than anything I can think of. Most of the time, I'm able to live my life normally, and forget about this desire to do something I can not do. But I can not avoid conversation that pertains to this, as it surely does up often. Once I am reminded of it, I can get overwhelmed by disappointment and anger. It's then that my view of God and of my faith starts to change.

     I have found myself asking, "if God loves me, why would he do this to me?" I have started to doubt God's love at times, and it's scary because I have heard of people asking that same question, and regard it as a "trial cliche" of sorts. My thought-process usually went something like this:

   

"I would never doubt God's love! After all, I'm a Christian, and the Bible clearly states that God loves us! Why is it so hard for those people who are going through trials to understand that?!"

    

      I have since learned that it is hard. Extremely so! I can lose perspective so easily, and just keep my eyes on what I want. That's when the world seems to come crashing down; when my world comes apart. All I want is that thing that I can't believe I'm not getting. That's all that I can see.

     But that's not all there is.

It's so important to remember that God isn't confined to my plan for my life! There is so much more that only God can see. I want him to say that I can do this thing! That I can have what I want! That this would be the best thing for me to do! God loves to give us good gifts, right? Yes – but, in truth, he knows what's good for us better than we do.

Here in this waiting room

Yearning for You to say go

And though I'm convinced that a yes would be best

This time You're telling me no

     Like I said before, it's hard! One time I considered bitterly how perfect my trial was for me. God gave me a great experience, let me look forward to the next time it could happen, and allowed me to be disappointed.

      But it's crucial to remember that God didn't do this out of hatred, or whatever! He's doing it out of love for me, and out of his infinite wisdom.

It's not that I don't have an answer

It's just not the one that I'd like

But through this time Lord I must keep in mind

You're always wiser than I

   
     God still loves me! He does. Even when he says that I can't have something I want. Think about it this way.

     God can see my entire life as, say, a map, showing every single thing that has happened and will happen from the day I was born until the day I die. He also sees me, walking along the little path on that map. He sees me experience something that he planned for me to do, and he sees me enjoy it to the fullest. 

     Sounds great! God loves it. I love it. Life is good! Here's when I start to see a little bit differently than God, the one who's holding and drawing that map of my life.

     I'm walking along this little path, and all I can see ahead is that thing that I want. I start running towards it: thinking about it, preparing for it, expecting it. And then, a big wall just drops down right in front of it. BOOM. The path suddenly starts leading me to the side. The wall made the path turn. Looking down the new path, I see a really, really dark forest. I can't see anything that remotely resembles what the wall blocked off; that thing that I wanted so much. Doesn't look promising.

     I start to walk down this path. In some strange way, that wall keeps following me, all the while blocking off what I want. 

     OK, maybe omnipresent walls is where the analogy ends.

The point is, As I walk through this dark forest of my life, I keep wanting to bang my head against that wall. To fight for what I want. To somehow break through the difficulty. To make it through and carry out my plan for my life after all.

     Meanwhile, God is watching me writhe in discontentment and disappointment, and then looks over farther down that path that I'm walking down. There's a wonderful surprise up there. A "light at the end of the tunnel." THERE IS ONE!!!!!! There is one. And God is guiding me to it. It's OK to leave my "wonderful" plan behind, because there's something so much better than that up ahead. Something better than that! It must be really something!!!! I'm reminded of a quote from Corrie ten Boom about God guiding us: "If God sends us on strong paths, we are provided strong shoes." God knows we can't do this alone. He knows!

     

'Cause you have a much better purpose

And You have a far greater plan

And You have a bigger perspective

 'Cause You hold this world in Your hands

     Please realize that I really am struggling. I'm not quite to the point where I can believe totally and completely that God has something better ahead for me. That's partly why I'm writing this all down; to impregnate myself in this truth. It's hard to let go of my plan. So very hard. But I know God will get me there. And he will also help me to not entertain any doubts about his plan for me. He will help me to trust that there is nothing better than what he has prepared for me to do.

The things that I seek are from You

Like the strong healing touch of Your hand

But when You say no, help me trust even though

There's a reason I can't understand

      I'd like to think of Job, and the way he responded to his trials. (In case you are not familiar with the story of Job in the Bible, Job was a man who lost literally everything he had, even his health, as a test from God. Because God loved Job!) Though Job was experiencing deep pain and heartache, he said, "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” That's the way I want to respond! God can help me do that. 

     There will come a time when I'm through that dark forest and at the wonderful surprise. Right now, by the power of God, I'm choosing to look to Jesus and not lose perspective. I'm choosing to believe that what's up ahead is incredibly good. I'm deciding, should God see fit to have me experience another tribulation farther along in my life, that I will bless his name and believe that he is wonderful and sovereign, regardless of how I'm feeling.

     Aren't you glad that God doesn't fluctuate with our emotions? I sure am.

That's my story. That's where I am right now. I know, as Chris Tomlin's lovely song, "How Can I Keep From Singing" says, "I know I am loved by the King, and it makes my heart want to sing!" By God's grace, I "can sing in my troubled times." There's no reason for me to be cast down; I'm simply adjusting to a plan-change. While this is painful, it is not too painful for my Father to handle. He can carry my burdens for me. He wants to.

     Please be encouraged by the truth in this post; not that anything I wrote is so very spectacular. God gave me this post. He made the words flow out of my fingertips and onto the keyboard so that I can hopefully bless all of my readers. We are all on a journey; a pilgrimage. We're all going to face sloughs of despond and valleys of the shadow of death. But God's our Father, and we're alive and strong in him! And we can look forward to everlasting relief from trials in heaven. Forever happiness.

When that miracle comes 'cause Your answer is yes

I will praise You for all of my days

But when Your wisdom declares that a no is best

I will praise You just the same

"Waiting Room" by Jonny Diaz

 God bless you!

-Sarah :)

     

Isaiah 43:1-7 (my favorite trial passage)

But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
    he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
     I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
    and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
    and the flame shall not consume you. 

For I am the Lord your God,
    the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.
I give Egypt as your ransom,
    Cush and Seba in exchange for you.   

Because you are precious in my eyes,
    and honored, and I love you,
I give men in return for you,
    peoples in exchange for your life.
Fear not, for I am with you;
     I will bring your offspring from the east,
    and from the west I will gather you. 

 I will say to the north, Give up,
    and to the south, Do not withhold;
bring my sons from afar
    and my daughters from the end of the earth, 

 everyone who is called by my name,
    whom I created for my glory,
    whom I formed and made.”

Optimistic Christianity

We got Chinese food for dinner last night. (Chinese food is SO good, but the whole time you're eating it your feeling like the fortune cookie is probably just as "healthy" for you as the other food.)

:)

Anyway, when my sister opened her fortune cookie and read the fortune, she read:

"You take an optimistic view of life."

Normally, we ponder the fortune and it's probability, and then laugh. But this time, God revealed something to me through the little slip of paper in the cookie.

 I realized that a Christian will take an optimistic view of life, because they have have hope that they will never sink so low that they are out of God's saving reach. They have an opportunity to serve others and bring others joy through their words and actions, and the hope of eternal life in glorious heaven.

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the ressurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead," 1 Peter 1:3


May grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord,


Sarah :)

Security in trials/persecution

My mom showed this quote to me. John Chrysostum is being persecuted for his faith by Empress Eudoxia.

John Chrysostum and Empress Eudoxia

“ You cannot banish me for this world is my Father’s house!”
“But I will kill you!”, said Empress Eudoxia.
“No, you cannot, for my life is hid with Christ in God!”, said Chrysostum.
“Well, then, I will take away your treasures!” said the Empress.
“No, you cannot, for my treasure is in heaven and my heart is there.”
“But I will drive you away from your friends and you will have no one left.”
“No, you cannot”, said Chrysostum. “For I have a friend in heaven from whom you cannot separate me. I defy you for there is nothing you can do to harm me.”

some meaningful worship songs

I have been listening to some worship songs lately that have really affected me. I wanted to put the links to grooveshark.com here, so that you can listen to some of them and be encouraged.

In Christ Alone | Keith and Kristyn Getty

O Church Arise | Keith and Kristyn Getty

He's Always Been Faithful | Sara Groves

Christ is Risen | Matt Maher

- Sarah :)

the power of prayer and scripture

I have been learning about the power of prayer a lot lately. I have needed to pray for so many things that I don't have power to do anything else about. Prayer is my only weapon against the enemy right now.

Isn't prayer a wonderful thing? To be able to talk to the all-powerful God who is in control of everything, is amazing to me. And he loves to listen to us. He loves when we call on him for help. 'Cause, believe it or not, we actually can't run the universe! He is in control no matter how much we think we have it all down.

Which is a comforting truth, I think. The universe doesn't fall apart when we fail! It would be really bad if it did because we fail very, very often. We can't do it. But God can!

When we pray about trials and for help through them, we are giving our own strength up to God. We are admitting that we can't win against the devil without God's strength. I feel so safe when I cast my cares on Jesus! The enemy just can't win over the Lord!

My mom showed me Psalm 144 the other day. It's great to pray it. Sometimes I paraphrased it to match what my circumstances are when I prayed it. Here are verses 1-2, 5-11.

Blessed be the LORD, my rock,

who trains my hands for war,

and my fingers for battle;

he is my steadfast love and my fortress,

my stronghold and my deliverer,

my shield and he in whom I take refuge,

who subdues peoples under me.

Bow your heavens, O LORD, and come down!

Touch the mountains so that they smoke!

Flash forth lightning and scatter them;

send out your arrows and rout them!

Stretch out your hand from on high;

rescue me and deliver me from the many waters,

from the hand of foreigners,

whose mouths speak lies and whose right hand is a right hand of falsehood.

I will sing a new song to you, O God;

upon a ten-stringed harp I will play to you,

who gives victory to kings,

who rescues David his servant from the cruel sword.

Rescue me and deliver me from the hands of foreigners,

whose mouths speak lies and whose right hand is a right hand of falsehood.

God's power is so clearly shown in this Psalm! Especially in the middle paragraph, I think his power is shown. With a touch, he makes the mountains smoke! He can flash forth lightning! And he can rescue us from the many waters of trials.

I hope this encouraged you!

- Sarah :)