stories make me shiver

A lot of parents in real life, or in movies or in books or wherever, are told by their children at one time or another:

"I want to be just like you someday."

The parent then usually shakes his (or her, if it's a mother) head and says:

"No, you don't. Be yourself. But don't be like me."

So is it strange for me to say that I want my future children to be just like me?

Well.

Not just like me. I don't want any child of mine to be exactly like me. Even if their life held the same or similar things to what mine did, I don't want them to react the same way. And I don't want that because of many reasons.

Reason the first, those reactions were painful. Reason the second, they are their own person.

I don't know what I'm saying. Except that I want them to be the beautiful part of me. I want them to understand things and love them deeply and richly.

Oh!

How I want that for them. I have discovered such beauty in this life. Such glory.

The joys of opening a new book and immersing yourself in that world. I want them to have it.

Books are life.

Stories are… stories make me shiver. I love them so much and I would die if my children didn't love them. I would die 'til I was dead.

That's why I want them to be like me. I want them to shiver with life. To actually convulse as if they were ill or obsessed or in love. Because that's what stories do to you. It's the best kind of sickness.

Oh, glorious, wonderful, beautiful, alive things, stories are! The man I love must love stories. Well, also, I wouldn't love him if he didn't, I don't think.

I dream of the day when my child comes to me and says: "I want to be just like you."

I refuse to tell them they are wrong. I swear, I will not to patronize them or belittle their precious, beautiful mind and heart. I will simply say:

"Be the beauty that has taken hold of my inside. Be the glory and the morbidity and the wonder of stories. Yes, you can be like me. We're all human. Please, dear, wonderful little child, learn to be human and let stories be your teacher. That is the best way."

And then perhaps I'll give my child a mysterious sort of smile, as if to add, "Take it from someone who knows."

s