death is death.

"It kills me sometimes, how people die." 

- Markus Zusak

There is no feeling quite as surreal and sobering as realizing that while you are immersed in happy routine, someone else has descended into the very lowest part of the valley; realizing that your five minutes of monotone is someone else's test.

There is also no feeling quite waiting for news. Waiting for your fears to be confirmed or denied. Waiting to find out if someone has run the last steps of their race and has made it to the finish line. Sometimes it hits suddenly and the only thing your heart feels for awhile after is the impact of the blow, like if a soccer ball hits you in the face and after it's gone you still feel like it's there.

I have never been in the position of having someone die who was very close to me. I have, however, experienced how death in one's broad, general circle of friends can ripple through and take a piece of everyone's heart. It's one of those things that doesn't depend on many factors. Death is death. That's all.

So when death springs up from it's lair to deliver a blow, it brings with it deep-seated fears and anxieties. Sometimes it brings unbridled terror. It comes like a phantom in the night; like a draft of cold air that makes you shiver despite your heavy clothing. And it never, ever leaves you untouched. It doesn't matter what the situation. Death is death.

And God is Life.

Death was defeated when Jesus resurrected, and it will be defeated for eternity when Jesus returns to take his own to eternal felicity. Happy, happy thought.

I don't know what I'd do without hope, because death is awful.

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

- Revelation 21:4

 

s

.

     I've come to you before with revelations that I've had from reading books for school (see here and here, for example). Haven't done it in awhile, though. Well, now I'm reading The Consolation of Philosophy by Boethius, and it's so profound. It does talk a lot about "Fortune" vs. Philosophy, and while I don't believe in Fortune, I do believe in an omnipotent God who deals out circumstances in my life. Here are a few quotes from the book that I was considering:

In the meantime, stop thinking of yourself as plunged in misery.

...

How many men do you think would believe themselves almost in heaven if they possessed even the smallest part of the luck you still enjoy?

...

Just a few today - I may come back with more in the future when I read more of the book. But I just wanted to share those quotes with you today; maybe they'll help you with your perspective. They sure did that for me. :)

Sarah

"you'll never learn"

     Ray Bradbury was a genius. He said so many wonderful things. Sometimes I'll spend hours reading his quotes - and maybe I won't agree with every single thing he says, but still, he is so profound. One of his quotes hits me hard every time I read it. It's like he knew my worst flaw and shot this quote at me like a dart.

“If you hide your ignorance, no one will hit you and you'll never learn.” 

- Ray Bradbury   

 

     I know I've shared this before, but I always feel like I need to be perfect and make sure everyone knows that I really am smart. I really am mature. I really am blah blah blah. I want to learn to not be afraid to show my ignorance. It may hurt to be hit when I do it, but I will learn. 

      And I'll change. Because, as Downton Abbey's dear Mr. Carson once said, "What would be the point of living if we didn't let life change us?"

     So, this week I'm challenging you (just as I'm challenging myself) to admit you're wrong sometimes. To show your ignorance sometimes. To live in the freedom of humility. I, for one, have seven classes to attend this week, so I know I'll get plenty of chances. ;)

 - Sarah 

an oprah quote for your friday

     You know how sometimes when you get a planner/calendar thing they'll put quotes on the pages of it? That's how I found this:

"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough."

 - Oprah Winfrey

c.s. lewis is a genius

“I think that if God forgives us we must forgive ourselves. Otherwise, it is almost like setting up ourselves as a higher tribunal than Him.”
– C.S. Lewis

I never thought about it quite like that before. 

on and on and on and on it goes

God's love. Infinite, eternal, unconditional, perfect, superlative.

     I've always believed that. I've taken it for granted, really. I've sung and believed Jesus Loves Me for as long as I can remember. I never thought it was something that I "struggled" with. Sure, I struggled with other things, but knowing God loves me? Naw. Never. That's easy to believe.
     Or is it?
Recently, as I have grappled with the merciless unrelenting taskmaster that is school, as well as other areas of my life that require self-discipline, I've failed again and again. It's inevitable. I'm human, I like to think I'm self-sufficient, and I start to wonder unconsciously whether God still loves me after I've failed to read such and such a book for school or go to bed at a reasonable hour. I say "unconsciously" because until a maybe a week ago, I didn't realize I was doubting God's love for me. I knew something was wrong but wasn't sure what. And even when I realized it initially, I prayed about it and then kind of forgot about it. But just last weekend I went to Planet Wisdom, a Christian student conference, with my youth group. It was an amazing time of learning about all kinds of relationships, laughing much and often, and worshipping with amazing songs and an amazing band. One of the songs in particular, "One Thing" by Jesus Culture, really hit me hard. I'm talking on my knees, crying kind of "hit me hard." The Holy Spirit literally inside of me "hit me hard."

Higher than the mountains that I face

Stronger than the power of the grave

Constant through the trial and the change

One thing remains

One thing remains

Your love never fails 

it never gives up 

it never runs out on me

On and on and on and on it goes

It overwhelms and satisfies my soul

And I never ever have to be afraid

One thing remains

Your love never fails 

it never gives up 

it never runs out on me

In death and in life I'm confident and covered by the power of your great love

My debt is paid there's nothing that can separate my heart from your great love

The part I put in bold was IT. God's love goes on and on and on and that I never have to be afraid? I thought I knew that, but. . . wow. I always get overwhelmed when I sing that. It was God's way of showing me that he really does love me all the time, whatever I do, no matter WHAT. Unconditional. That's what it is. It's never ending, doesn't depend on anything I do or don't do. 

IT NEVER ENDS. 

EVER.

IN MY LIFE.

(It's always a good idea to use a (paraphrased) quote from "Up" to drive a point home).

But reeeally, it doesn't depend on how bad I'm doing (or how great I'm doing, on the other hand). The following lyrics from Jenny Simmon's song "This I Know" basically sums up the struggle of trusting God's love:

When it comes to being free, I am my own worst enemy

'Cause I can criticize every move I make

I've got a microscope on my mistakes

And I steal glory from the One who made me me

I know the words, but help me believe

Jesus loves me, this I know

And I know it's not because of anything I've done

This love is unconditional

So at my worst, and at my best

You don't love me less, you can't love me more

This I know for sure

Never worried or impressed by any failure or success

'Cause I know somehow, some way I'll make You smile

You can not help but love Your child

So I can sing this song to You

You never change your mind about it

And I don't know why I ever doubt it

     As it is always with God's promises, it's comforting to know that you are safe in God's love, and that he will NEVER leave you (insert selfsame "Up" quote here). 

Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 

1 John 4:8

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 

1 John 4:18

-Sarah :)

knowing God

". . .knowing God is a relationship calculated to thrill a person's heart."

- J.I. Packer

the story of my typical school day

(Excerpt taken from the best book ever: Anne of Green Gables)

Miss Stacy caught me reading "Ben Hur" in school yesterday afternoon when I should have been studying my Canadian history. Jane Andrews lent it to me. I was reading it at dinner hour, and I had just got to the chariot-race when school went in. I was simply wild to know how it turned out––although I felt sure "Ben Hur" must win, because it wouldn't be poetical justice if he didn't––so I spread my history open on my desk-lid and then tucked "Ben Hur" between the desk and my knee. It just looked as if I were studying Canadian history, you know, while all the while I was reveling in "Ben Hur." I was so interested in it. . . 

     Okay, so I don't put my school book in front of my pleasure book and read in secret. But often, I'm tempted to "see how the chariot race turned out," and thus use my school hours in pleasure activities. God is giving me more self control, and I feel confident that he will help me as I enter the school year. I am excited to rise to the challenge of having enough self control to prevent me from pulling homework all-nighters (something I can certainly do without). Diligence also comes into play here; if I want to do something for fun, I know I have to work hard and get my school done first.
     For those of you who are still in school, I hope you have a blessed school year with a minimum amount of late night cramming and that you learn a lot. :)

-Sarah :)

P.S. Can I just say that Anne is extremely entertaining? Even if you don't take any of the self control lesson away from this excerpt, I hope you appreciate her mention of poetical justice and the seemingly necessary mention of who lent her the book. :)

you can't take away my God

John Chrysostum and Empress Eudoxia

“You cannot banish me for this world is my Father’s house!”

“But I will kill you!”, said Empress Eudoxia.

“No, you cannot, for my life is hid with Christ in God!” said Chrysostum.

“Well, then, I will take away your treasures!” said the Empress.

“No, you cannot, for my treasure is in heaven and my heart is there.”

“But I will drive you away from your friends and you will have no one left.”

“No, you cannot," said Chrysostum. “For I have a friend in heaven from whom you cannot separate me. I defy you for there is nothing you can do to harm me.”

~~~

All around, all of us fear has come
And so we must ask ourselves in who we trust
What we have here is not enough
So let it ring, in freedom sing

You can take away everything that I've been holding
You can take away the sum
You can take away the very air that I've been breathing
But you can't take away my God, oh my God

Waves will come, winds will blow
But it's not here, I've found my hope
My beating heart, my very soul
Is held by one who won't let go
And so I'll cling to You my King

You can take away everything that I've been holding
You can take away the sun
You can take away the very air that I've been breathing
But you can't take away my God, oh my God

A hope that can't be lost, a love that can't be bought
But you can't take away my God
Nothing high or low, nothing you can control
You can't take away my God, you can't take away

You can take away everything that I've been holding
You can take away the sun
You can take away the very air that I've been breathing
But you can't take away my God, oh my God, oh, my God

Can't Take Away - Mikeschair (Listen to it here)

~~~

     Something I recently read a poem in "Streams in the Desert" about walking with God through trials:

The hill was steep, but cheered along the way

By converse sweet, I mounted on the thought

That so it might be till the height was reached;

But suddenly a narrow winding path

Appeared, and then the Master said, "My child,

Here thou wilt safest walk with Me alone."

I trembled, yet my heart's deep trust replied,

"So be it, Lord." He took my feeble hand

In His, accepting thus my will to yield Him 

All, and to find all in Him.

One long, dark moment,

And no friend I saw, save Jesus only.

But oh! so tenderly He led me on

And up, and spoke to me such words of cheer,

Such secret whisperings of His wondrous love,

That soon I told Him all my grief and fear,

And leaned on His strong arm confidingly.

And then I found my footsteps quickened,

And light ineffable, the rugged way

Illumined, such light as only can be seen 

In close companionship with God.

A little while, and we shall meet again

The loved and lost; but in the rapturous joy

Of greetings, such as here we cannot know,

And happy song, and heavenly embraces,

And tender recollections rushing back

Of pilgrim life, methinks one memory

More dear and sacred than the rest, shall rise

And we who gather in the golden streets,

Shall oft be stirred to speak with grateful love

Of that dark day when Jesus bade us climb

Some narrow steep, leaning on Him alone.

     Do you see how this ties into the quote and song that I have at the top of this post? Everything can be taken away from us, but we will ALWAYS be walking with God. No one can take him away from us. That means that we can survive leaning on God alone! For example, friends are wonderful to have, and I'm positive I can speak for everyone when I say that it's hard not to have friends. But even if Christians don't have any friends on earth, isn't it comforting that we have a friend that sticks closer than a brother? (Proverbs 18:24) Of course, it's not always easy to apply that to our lives - to lean on Jesus alone. Honestly, it makes me long for heaven, where we won't have to walk on the narrow path at all. But while we're down here, it's nice to know that "while I carry this cross, He'll carry me" (Audrey Assad).

Coming up - a post about how my family is looking for a church home (that's the daunting post I have yet to write. . . so many emotions and the like to mix in).

-Sarah :)

a quote

     Not a long post today; just a quote I like. Enjoy. :)

  Every experience God gives us is the perfect preparation for the future only he can see.

Corrie ten Boom

new year musings

     Yesterday was the last day of 2011. Today is the first day of the year 2012––a fresh new year, the first two months of which will be filled with writing "2011" on biology quizzes and then erasing it because it isn't 2011 anymore.

      I would like to post a quote from one of my favorite books (Anne's House of Dreams - in the Anne of Green Gables series).

"I reckon that whatever the New Year brings us will be the best the Great Captain has for us––and somehow or other we'll all make port in a good harbor."

     I love thinking of the New Year this way. The new year is filled with the best that God, or the "Great Captain," has for us. God only has the best in store for us! Doesn't that make you feel so secure?

     It's this true security, security that comes from casting your cares on God, that assures us that the best is in store for us, and that we will "all make port in a good harbor."

     My new year's resolution is to live every day to the fullest, to the glory of God. I want to run for the eternal prize, like Paul talks about in Philippians 3:14: I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. 


     Happy new year, everyone! What are some of your new year's resolutions?

-Sarah :)

"He has all – who has the Haver of all." - Augustine

I got this quote from Carrie's blog. I love it!!!! :)

- Sarah :)

Without the rain

"Without the rain, there would be no rainbow."

- Gilbert Chesterton

Isn't this a cool quote? I don't know who Gilbert Chesterton is (maybe you do), or if he's a Christian or not, but I was thinking about the possible meaning of this quote. I think the rain is supposed to represent "bad", but without it there would be no rainbow, or "good." This is so true in the way God works! We must go through trials to get closer to God. We must go through the "rain" to get the "rainbow."

Are there any quotes, not necessarily by Christian authors that encourage you in your Christianity?

-Sarah :)

Security in trials/persecution

My mom showed this quote to me. John Chrysostum is being persecuted for his faith by Empress Eudoxia.

John Chrysostum and Empress Eudoxia

“ You cannot banish me for this world is my Father’s house!”
“But I will kill you!”, said Empress Eudoxia.
“No, you cannot, for my life is hid with Christ in God!”, said Chrysostum.
“Well, then, I will take away your treasures!” said the Empress.
“No, you cannot, for my treasure is in heaven and my heart is there.”
“But I will drive you away from your friends and you will have no one left.”
“No, you cannot”, said Chrysostum. “For I have a friend in heaven from whom you cannot separate me. I defy you for there is nothing you can do to harm me.”

Pilgrim's Progress

I have started reading The Pilgrim's Progress in preparation for my history class in the fall. (School's starting soon!) I think it's like the original version, with all the old english and everything. It's slightly hard to read, but there are some amazing truths in it. I'm posting a couple quotes I found especially meaningful here, so that you can read and learn more about the right way the Christian travels upon.


"He to whom thou wast sent for Ease, being by name Legality, is the son of the Bondwoman which now is, and is in bondage with her children, and is now a mystery this Mount Sinai, which thou hast feared will fall on thy head. Now if she with her children are in Bondage, how canst thou expect by them to be made free? This Legality, therefore, is not able to set thee free from thy Burden. No man was as yet ever rid of his Burden by him; nor is ever like to be."


"There shall be no more crying, nor sorrow, for he that is Owner of [heaven] will wipe all tears from our eyes."


"But thus thou mayst distinguish right from wrong, the Right only being strait and narrow."


"As to thy Burden, be content to bear it, until thou comest to the place of Deliverance: for there it will fall from thy back of itself."


"Then he took [Christian] by the hand, and led him into a very large parlour that was full of dust, because never swept. . . then said Christian, What means this? The Interpreter answered, This parlour is the heart of a man that was never sanctified by the sweet Grace of the Gospel: The dust is his Original Sin, and inward Corruptions that have defiled the whole man. He that began to sweep at first, is the Law; but she that brought Water, and did sprinkle it, is the Gospel. Now, whereas thou sawest that so soon as the first began to sweep, the dust did so fly about, that the room by him could not be cleansed, but that thou wast almost choaked therewith; this is to shew thee that the Law, instead of cleansing the heart (by it's working) from Sin, doth revive, put strength into, and increase it in the soul, even as it doth discover and forbid it, for it doth not give Power to subdue. Again, as thou sawest the Damsel sprinkle the room with Water, upon which it was cleansed with pleasure; this is to shew thee, that when the Gospel comes in, the sweet and precious influences thereof to the heart, then, I say, even as thou sawest the Damsel lay the dust by sprinkling the floor with Water, so is Sin vanquished and subdued, and the soul made clean, through the Faith of it, and consequently fit for the King of Glory to inhabit."






- Sarah :)

perspective in trials

"More than anything else I could ever do, the gospel enables me to embrace my tribulations and thereby position myself to gain full benefit from them. For the gospel is the one great permanent circumstance in which I live and move; and every hardship in my life is allowed by God only because it serves His gospel purposes in me. Wen I view my circumstances in this light, I realize that the gospel is not just one piece of good news that fits into my life somewhere among all the bad. I realize instead that the gospel makes genuinely good news out of every other aspect of my life, including my severest trials. The good news about my trials is that God is forcing them to bow to His gospel purposes and do good unto me by improving my character and making me more conformed to the image of Christ.

"Preaching the gospel to myself each day provides a lens through which I can view my trials in this way and see the true cause for rejoicing that exists in them. I can then embrace trials as friends and allow them to do God's good work in me."

- Milton Vincent, A Gospel Primer for Christians, pages 31-32

A QUOTE

"The purest and most exhilarating joy is the delight of glorifying God, and so anticipating the time when we shall enjoy him for ever."

- Charles Spurgeon

(I got this from a post on a friend's blog)

- Sarah :)