overwhelmed

     Do you ever feel like you want to just pause time? Just pause - get tons of work done, sleep, eat, etc. - then press play and "start life" again where you left off, except way ahead of everyone and completely stress-free?
   
 Maybe that's just me.

     I just feel like I have so much responsibility. SO MUCH. And I struggle with feeling like I'm never good enough... that I'm not doing enough... that I'm not mature or reliable enough...

I'm struggling.

     I'm taking my third year of Latin in school this year, and I absolutely love Latin normally. But it's really hard this year. And I'm discouraged. And nervous. Add six other classes on top of that and it's completely overwhelming.

     I know that I'm supposed to lean on God for all of my strength, but I'm having trouble trusting that he has enough of it. I know he does, but... gosh, it's just everything on my plate at once. I want to prove to myself that I am good enough, not really to God - I know what he thinks of me already - but to people around me. It's probably more important to me than it should be. I don't want to live with this binding me. I've realized that I'm not free from it, but it's strange because I don't necessarily want to be free from it. If I just gave up the fight and let God work through me, I wouldn't be proving anything to myself. Not that I need to prove anything to myself; I just want to.

     It's all so confused and messed up. I'm sorry if it doesn't make sense. I just needed to get that out there. Please, try to understand where I'm coming from. I'm in a difficult place. It's okay to be in a difficult place - I know you all are probably in one, too. So maybe you could... pray for me. And if you ask for prayer in the comment section I will pray for you too.

- Sarah