Remember that series on my fiery trial I did last year, about leaving my old church? I just read back and read it, and... wow. It all came back in one big, tear-filled rush. I still cry when I hear this song. I remembered it all - the specific emotions I felt on a day-to-day basis, the tears, the heartache. And the constant struggle of trying to believe that God is good.
Well, it's been a year since God and I embarked on my first life-trial. And things have been going good. I feel the impact of the trial now and again, but I've reached the end, and now I just want to be ready when something else like it falls in my path. Because it will.
But you know what's strange? Reading what I wrote last year, when I was in the midst of that fiery trial, I realized that I miss it. I miss being forced to rely on God at all times. I miss the sobs of relief when I would read Isaiah 43. I miss the vulnerability - the constant need to jump into God's lap to just sit and wait it out.
I can't believe it, but I'm out of that hard time, and I'm pretty sure it's for good. I'll probably feel the impact of it for the rest of my life, but the sharpness of the pain is gone. It's all gone. All I know is that I love my new church (not so new now - I've been attending for a year...!!!), and I love the people in it. I'm dreaming big and anticipating what's ahead in my life. And I can't believe that I really am at the end of that tunnel.
And I can't believe that I want another trial.
Okay, so I don't really want another one. But I miss that feeling of God being always present in my weakness. I find myself slipping back into old habits of self-sufficiency (two words: summer school).
So, if you're reading this today and you're going through a fiery trial of your own, please read on, carefully.
1. IT'S GOING TO BE OVER SOMETIME.
2. GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. HE'S HOLDING YOU TIGHT AND HE WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER LET YOU GO.
3. GOD LOVES YOU A WHOLE LOT.
4. IT'S GOING TO BE OKAY.
<3
Sarah
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Thank you for that encouragement! I think a lot of believers mistake trials in life to be pure misery and something to run from, but it's actually the kind of life God calls us to lead. Trials in life is what will make us more like Christ!
ReplyDeleteWow, Sarah. Reading this just brought tears to my eyes. I'm kinda going through a trial now too, and I just keep thinking, "I can't wait until this is over." But then reading what you said about wanting a trial, I'm thinking, perhaps I need to be more joyful through this and accept it as a learning experience instead of a burden. And those four points were exactly what I needed to hear. And the caps helped get the point across very well ;)
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