where's your focus?

     It's so incredibly easy to focus on those things that I don't have. Sometimes it seems like the things that I want but can't have far outweigh the things I DO have. It doesn't take a lot of effort to just indulge in being miserably discontent. I think that's why I do that so much. Because it's too hard to sit down for five minutes and think of a few things that I am thankful for. I'd much rather be miserable and have people sympathize with me, and have them tell me the same things I'm telling myself: that it's not fair that I don't have such-and-such a thing, and that I have a right to get what I want.

     It may seem easier to have that focus, but the fact of the matter is that it's not. It takes it's toll on me until I feel depressed and utterly unsatisfied with my life. I've even experienced feeling so discontent with what I don't have that I wished I could die. It's scary to find that I've let myself go that far in my misery.

     The remedy for this is to simply sit down and write out things that you are thankful for. When I did it, I thought of ninety-seven things that I'm thankful for in one sitting. I have so much, even if I don't realize it all the time. It's healthy to realize it, though. I need to remember how much God has blessed me, and how little those things I don't have matter in the grand scheme of things.

     It's hard to have the right perspective. It's hard to put my focus in the right place. It's so easy to slack off and not tell myself the truth, but instead be content with the lie that I don't have everything I need.

     Because, since I have Jesus, I do have everything I need.