hanging securely

If you opened the door of my bedroom pretty much any weeknight, you'd hear music playing and see me sitting on my floor with my math textbook in front of me and a pencil scratching away at graph paper. Such is my life as a high school sophomore - and sometimes I wonder how I'm doing it.
   
A lot of nights I work really hard, sometimes really late into the night. It's those times when I'm tired, I hate math and everything to do with it, and I want more than ever to go to bed instead of finishing what I would have to wake up really early the next morning to do. But I don't. Why? I don't know! All I know is that I feel tired, but I have this strength that isn't my own pushing me on.

It's not mine. It's God's.

So THIS is what it means to rely entirely on God's strength. It gets me excited to know that God is finally showing me this after wanting and praying to feel it for so long.

It's a strange feeling. It's as if, without this supernatural strength filling me, I would just collapse, unconscious on the ground. It's hard to explain. . . I feel like the strength isn't IN me, it's PULLING me. It's pulling my hand across the paper as I write number after number. It's pulling my eyes open so I can stay alert as I work. It's pulling my brain. . . but this is a weird way of putting it. I can't explain what it feels like. All I know is that God is doing something incredible.

I guess what I could say is that it feels like I'm hanging. It's like I'm in an ocean (of homework. . . fill in the blank) and God is pulling me in with his lifeline of supernatural strength and keeping me afloat. That's what it feels like. . . but I'm also reminded that the aforesaid ocean is all in God's hands. He's holding me and keeping me hanging. It's a glorious place to be - in that place of weakness and dependence and trust.

It's good to be hanging securely.

-Sarah :)