I am Sarah, a student of stories. I live in my head.

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

new blog! (ahh!)

     Hi lovely readers! I guess I'll cut straight to it, then. I have moved to Tumblr! There I will be doing much the same as I have here, but it's more streamlined and simpler. I like it so far. I do hope you will be joining me there. I'm not sure if you can leave comments on Tumblr (I'm very new to it), so if you can, please leave one. If you can't, please please please tweet me or something to let me know your thoughts on my posts!!! my twitter "handle" (is that what it's called?) is @epernerne . I'd love to keep in touch with you even though I'm leaving blogger. Well, who knows. Maybe I'll still post on here from time to time. Can't quite see myself completely giving this dear old place up. :)

     So thankful to you all for staying with me! I really truly love you. :)

s

Thursday, July 10, 2014

on writing fiction and my newfound knowledge on why it is so difficult - for me, at least.

     Halloooo!!! I'm here. :) Lots of stuff is happening in my life. Maybe I'll post about it. Maybe I won't. But I have something very specific to share with you tonight.

     I love writing fiction. I have never finished a novel. Sometimes most of the time I don't even have a plot.

     And I compare myself.

Why can't I weave a plot like J.K. Rowling?!

Why can't I add natural, exquisite, raw art to my work like John Green?!

Why can't I connect to real life like C.S. Lewis, Tolkien, Veronica Roth,  et cetera?!

     BECAUSE, SARAH. You aren't J.K. Rowling. You aren't John Green. You aren't Lewis, Tolkien, Roth, et cetera.

     But you are you, and you have a story to tell.

Tonight I realized (maybe for the millionth time, but they hit me hard tonight) two things.

ONE that my story doesn't have to be a brilliant display of life and death, pain and joy, internal struggle and outward battles, villains and heroes; whether that takes place in fantasy or real, rawwww life. I can write a cheesy, heartwarming Christmas story if I want to. But what makes it awesome is that I can add ME to it.

that leads me to TWO my story is my writing. My work. So I really shouldn't second-guess myself when I type out a sentence, thinking, "is that the best possible wording? Does that sound weird or corny? Could my vocabulary be more varied? Why is the main character so normal? Why isn't he/she having an existential crisis?"

And all that crap.

So I'm signing off now to go write some more, in the freedom of those two things.

(Also I initially typed "freekdom" instead of freedom and I thought it was funnier than I probably should have.)

s

Saturday, May 31, 2014

may report card [and announcement]

     It's the end of the month. My resolutions were to eat healthily, wake up earlier, and to survive exams.

Eat Healthily - 85% B
I'm giving myself a B for this because I did do it. Most of the time. But it was Mothers Day and my sister's birthday and exam week and honestly, I'm not in this "eating healthily" thing if I'm not going to also enjoy it. The goal is not to lose a ton of weight. So, while I could have eaten healthier this month, I think I did a pretty darn good job.

Waking up Early - 50% F
Didn't happen. I am not a morning person.

Survive Exams - 90% A
I made it! It was a tight squeeze at the end of exam week (six exams to take!) but I finished junior year! :)

Final Grade - 75% C

---

     And now for the announcement! My sister and I are going on a trip with some people in our church to visit and help out some church friends in Kazakhstan! And we're leaving on Monday! Prayers are much appreciated. We will be gone for 10 days.

     Because of this, I am not going to do June resolutions. Because of this trip and lots of other stuff, my June is looking crazy. I don't know how much blogging I'll do this month but I'll definitely still be around. :)

s



Thursday, May 22, 2014

"inexhaustible grace for an exhausted world."

     Last night I went to bed relatively early, hoping to catch up on the sleep I have not been able to get this week. But I couldn't sleep - exams were stressing me out. I felt sick and shaky. So my mom, being the superhero she is, gave me some homeopathic medicine (homeopathy FTW) and spent a good 15-20 minutes finding me a sermon that she liked for me to listen to. It's one by Tullian Tchividjian from this year's Liberate conference. 

     I may have started listening to it stressed out and nervous, but by the end of it I was completely relaxed. In this sermon, Mr. Tchividjian talks about "Inexhaustible Grace for an Exhausted World," a concept I have heard many times. I know that I need grace. I know that I can't do anything in my own strength, and I know that I don't have to. But there is something about the way he preaches that really hit it home for me. I realized things at 1:00 last night that I never realized before. And I was blessed. I'm taking on these last two days of exam with all the power of God in me because that sermon reminded me that I don't have to be anything without Jesus. He is where my identity lies. Not in my achievements. Not in how hard I study or when I get my exams done compared to everyone else in my school. Not in my grades. NOT IN MY GRADES. 

     I was able to identify with a lot of the struggles Mr. Tchividjian talked about in his sermon. I realized that I am exhausted - physically, emotionally... spiritually, even - and that it's okay because there is more than enough of God's inexhaustible grace. 

     It's a little over an hour long, but I encourage you watch it if you get the time. It really is incredible. 

It's Vimeo so I'm not sure how to share the video directly on here but here's the link: http://vimeo.com/87839633http://vimeo.com/87839633

Happy Thursday. It's almost the weekend. :)
s

P.S. Audrey Assad came out with a new EP, "Death, Be Not Proud," a few days ago. You really should check it out. :) 

Friday, May 9, 2014

may resolutions

I'm here, more than a week into May, with my monthly resolutions!

1. Eat Healthily

     This time around, I'm doing more than just being aware of what I eat. I did that last month, so now it's time to really just do it. So far I have been doing pretty well, which is exciting. This goal is forcing me to be more creative with the food that is already in my house, and I've come up with some great things. I will be allowing myself sugar every so often but definitely not as much as I have in the past.

2. Wake up early (6:30)

     Since I attend online school, it's easy to sleep in until 7:55 and then just open my computer for my 8:00 class. But I'd like to wake up earlier, actually get out of bed, and eat breakfast. Otherwise I use the time from 9:30-11 (the time between classes) to eat and get dressed and stuff and I waste time I could have used for homework. Unlike the first goal, this one is something I'm implementing now, so I'll only have about three weeks on it.

3. Survive Finals!

Self-explanatory.

s

Friday, May 2, 2014

april report card

     Hello everyone! I hope you all had a nice April. My April was definitely full of it's characteristic "showers" (it poured - POURED - for like two days straight one time). Not that I'm complaining; I love rain. :)

     Anyway, here is my report card for April. Let's see how I did. :)


 APRIL REPORT CARD

eating healthily:
I feel pretty good about this goal. I discovered during the course of April that being aware of how I was eating was more important to me than actually carrying that out, at least for this month. Even if I didn't eat super healthily all the time, I knew what I was putting into my body, and that was a big step for me. So I'm grading this one in two parts, awareness and application. I'll average out the grades for a final healthy eating grade.

AWARENESS: 100
APPLICATION: 75
FINAL GRADE: 87.5 - B

working out: 
Okay, so this one didn't really happen. I planked maybe two days. Didn't run at all. XP I did take a lot of walks, though. More than I have in awhile. So that was a step in the right direction (no pun intended...?)

FINAL GRADE: 60 - D

OVERALL GRADE FOR THE MONTH: 73.75 - C



So, a C. Not too bad. Average. :) I'm hoping to get it up higher in the future months, though. But it's also important to me to make sure that I'm not judging myself too harshly. I want this to help me, not hinder me. 


I'll be back sometime really soon with my May resolutions! :)

s


Tuesday, April 15, 2014

+++

Somehow I did all the right things. And sometimes I wish I would do something wrong. I've heard normal people never feel like that, and I wonder why.

Where is the humanity in never messing up?

-skb-

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